“I didn’t know that was a job! I assumed it was done by a machine.”

Yep, that’s how most people respond when I tell them I’m a subtitler. Subtitles are not produced by machines but nor are they produced by mere mortals. The subtitler is a rare breed. We’re blessed. We’re experts!

Take your local pub quiz, for instance. I guarantee a team of subtitlers can beat you. The current affairs round? Ha! We’ve covered Sky News live all day. There’s nothing you can tell us about the global state-of-play that we don’t already know. We can name every Cabinet Minister, every head of state AND every contestant on <a “http:=”” www.bbc.co.uk=”” programmes=”” b006m8dq”=””>Strictly Come Dancing.

We also make great dinner party guests because we’re stuffed full of crazy facts. Thanks to covering Winterwatch Live, I’ve discovered that beavers eat once, then poo out their food and eat it again to get more nutrients in. They even use their tail as a plate! (Don’t worry – I won’t actually do that at your dinner party. I’ll just describe it in a witty and engaging way.)

One of the best things about being a subtitler is discovering new programmes first, such as Channel 4’s Utopia. After subtitling an episode of it, I’m hooked! Subtitlers are also among the privileged few who know what happens in EastEnders on Christmas Day or what the Deal Or No Deal contestant has in their box. Of course, we couldn’t possibly tell you because we’re bound by secrecy clauses but, boy, it’s fun knowing something you don’t!

During last Summer’s Olympics I won 29 gold medals. OK, that’s not strictly true, but subtitling Mo Farah crossing that finish line live, I felt like I’d won it with him. I felt part of the team, part of his experience, part of Team GB’s success. It may sound corny but my job can be very moving.

I also feel like I live in every corner of the UK. Last year I was there when the Queen shook Martin McGuinness’s hand, when Holyrood discussed independence and when The Wales Report was launched. When subtitling someone’s voice live, I feel a connection to them. I also get an insight into how their mind works. Or how their script writer’s mind works. Try counting how many times you hear “let me be clear” from a Tory MP!

Rachel Thorn, Subtitler